Chaff...

Some dear friends of mine sent me a lovely set of books last week. They're from the 17:18 series. It's a series of books that are meant to help people fulfill the command in Deuteronomy 17:18 about writing out your own copy of the law of God. I was given the books needed to write out and comment on the whole book of Psalms, and they've been such a blessing. The thoughts below came from studying Psalm 1. Oh, and just in case you wonder, this isn't written from my perspective...

Rough. Hard. Empty. Worthless…

I used to be full of potential, full of life. Inside my heart was a new beginning, a promise of growth. It grew inside me until I was practically pregnant with promise and possibilities. My papery mask was golden and ready to split. Everything was perfect and ready for harvest.

Then the hard times came.

It was a hot, dusty day when sharp blades came and cut my stalk. I fell and was piled with many others just like me. We were roughly carried away from familiar soil to a place we’d never seen or heard about. Lost and confused, we were beaten and tossed, broken down and battered. It seemed that my heart would be torn out of me, my papery mask that had been so smooth and golden was splitting.

No!

“You can’t do this to me! You can’t take that away from me! My mask is who I am!”

I struggled to be heard, but the sweaty farmer who bent over me wouldn’t stop the shaking. I gritted my teeth and held on tight. I wouldn’t give up! I couldn’t surrender!

Then his warm hand picked me up and he rubbed me around in His palm. This was the end.  I couldn’t hold on anymore. It was either my husk or the seed. I couldn’t keep both, and I couldn’t bear to be separated from my mask, my covering, the only part of me that had ever seen the light of day, the part of me that I thought made me who I was.

And in that choice, I lost the seed. I lost the life that was in my heart. I lost my heart and became a shell, a simple lifeless husk.

The wind carried away my body, and in the hands of the One who planted me lay the life that He had given and that I had given up.

I gave it up for a husk.

The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

-Psalm 1:4

A Pick-Me-Up From God

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning: the homesick side. It's happened several times since I left North America, but today, I didn't even want to get out of bed. I tried to talk to some family and friends before breakfast, but the internet was slow, and then when I finally did get a hold of them, it was time for me to go.

As Miguel and I started school with prayer, I asked the Lord to take away my bad attitude and help me deal with my homesickness (Yeah, I know, prayer again. It's about all I've posted about lately, but it really is amazing!). After prayer I felt much better, but I still just wanted to go home. Then God worked one of His little miracles.

Before we had even finished Bible class we heard a knock. Mana Lina (the lady who helps us with cooking and cleaning) called me downstairs, and there at the door was the delivery man from DHL. A package! For me!

Inside the package were pictures, little notes from my family, a pair of incredible books for studying Psalms, Adventist Review and AFM magazines, some GF snacks, and other little things that I had been wishing for. It was the most lovely surprise, and it came right on time.

My Father in heaven is so caring! With Him by my side, I couldn't be happier or more content. I love Him so much, because He has first shown His love to me (1 John 4:19).

Now, replacing my bad mood and homesickness, there is a song. It goes something like this:

I will lift my eyes

To the hills and their Creator

Who made all heaven and earth

For He watches me

Never sleeps, no, never slumbers,

He's ever over me.

As I come and I go,

I am safe for I know,

That His care is sufficient for me.

Winter warmth and light,

And a shady place in summer,

He's ever over me.

A Poem

I wrote this while studying the adult Sabbath school quarterly this week and wanted to share it.

I'll take a stand so I can lay
My all at Jesus' feet today.
Giving up and surrendering to Him
Is the only way to stand up to sin.

Submit yourselves therefore to God,
Follow meekly His staff and rod,
Resist the Devil and he will flee
While surrendered we'll gain the victory.

"May Christ be lifted up!" we'll cry
Til the eye of every passerby-
's been drawn to the snake upon the rod,
The sinless, spotless lamb of God.

Who for my sake sin became,
That I may live by Jesus name.

Little Things

"God answered my prayer!"

Miguel's shout tore my attention away from the book I was reading. The other people at the pool glanced up from their recliners and waitresses paused with Cokes and mango juices balanced expertly in the air, but Miguel didn't notice. 

"Katie! Katie," he screamed at the top of his lungs while he flailed through the water toward me, "He answered my, I mean, our prayer!"

"Which prayer, Miguel?"

"Remember! See, here's your hair tie that I lost."

"Oh, yes, I remember now. The last time we were here you lost my hair tie, and we prayed that we would find it, but even though we looked for it until we left, we didn't find it."

"How many days has it been since we were here last?"

"It's been three days, Miguel."

"Wow! That's amazing! It would have been amazing if God had helped us find your hair tie right after I lost it, but now to find it three days later...oh, my! That's amazing!"

"God is so good! He even cares about little things like hair ties. Why don't we pray to thank Him? Would you like to pray, or should I pray?"

"You can pray."

And I did pray. Not only to thank our Father for revealing my hair tie, but also to thank Him for revealing a bit of Himself to a little ten year old boy and his teacher.