He Promised

"In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began,"..."let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)"..."being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he [is] able also to perform,"..."and this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life," (Titus 1:2; Hebrews 10:23; Romans 4:21; 1 John 2:25).

"Christ is able to do all that he has promised to do for the sin-sick soul. Those who have an experimental knowledge of Christ can testify to his faithfulness and truth. We may have an appreciation of our sinfulness, and realize that we are full of uncleanness, but as the light of heaven reveals the heart's depravity, we should not become discouraged, for there is help in Jesus for the vilest sinner. The promises of God are for all who will accept them, and Jesus says, Come, and I will give you rest. He does not say, Come, and perhaps I will give you rest, but the promise is positive, "Ye shall find rest." As we take his yoke, and learn of him, we find sweet solace in his promises, and our hope of eternal life grows stronger and brighter."  

    "I have seen persons in trouble, who, instead of looking to Jesus, kept looking at their trouble, kept talking of their discouragements, and kept dwelling upon their trials. Why did they not comply with the invitation of Jesus? Why did they not come to him? It was because they had a divided heart; but God wants the whole heart. When we are in trial and sadness, we must look to Jesus. We must take our sorrow to the Lord in prayer; for he has said, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." Why is it that we do not comply with the conditions upon which the promises are based? We have a precious Saviour, and he knows our trials before we present them before him. He loves us with a love that is infinite, and he will do for us all that he has promised to do. We need not walk in darkness. We need not go on in uncertainty. We are willing to believe what our friends tell us, then why not believe the word of our best Friend? Why not take God at his word? Why not "come" and find rest unto our souls, according to the invitation and promise of Jesus?" {ST, January 19, 1891 par. 7-8}.

"Lay hold on eternal life. Come to Jesus in faith. Ask, and ye shall receive. The forgiveness of sins is promised to him who repents, justification to him who believes, and the crown of life to him who is faithful unto death," {7BC 916.5}.  

Radical

This is a link to a blog that realized, confirmed, and verbalized much of what I've been feeling these past months in Timor. Read it, and may it change your life.

Radical

Strength for Today

     "As thy days, so shall thy strength be," (Deuteronomy 33:25). 

     I thank the Lord for the assurance of His grace, that is for His people now, today.... The promise is not that we will have strength today for a future emergency, that anticipated future trouble will be provided for beforehand, before it comes to us. We may, if we walk by faith, expect strength and provision for us as fast as our circumstances demand it. We live by faith, not by sight. The Lord's arrangement is for us to ask Him for the very things that we need. The grace of tomorrow will not be given today. Men's necessity is God's opportunity. . . . The grace of God is never given to be squandered, to be misapplied or perverted, or to be left to rust with disuse....
     While you are bearing daily responsibilities in the love and fear of God, as obedient children walking in all humility of mind, strength and wisdom from God will be given to meet every trying circumstance.
     We will not be able to meet the trials of this time without God. We are not to have the courage and fortitude of martyrs of old until brought into the position they were in. . . . We are to receive daily supplies of grace for each daily emergency. Thus we grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, and if persecution comes upon us, if we must be enclosed in prison walls for the faith of Jesus and the keeping of God's holy law, "As thy days, so shall thy strength be." Should there be a return of persecution there would be grace given to arouse every energy of the soul to show a true heroism....
     We are to keep close to the Source of our strength day by day, and when the enemy comes in like a flood the Spirit of the Lord lifts up a standard for us against the enemy. The promise of God is sure, that strength shall be proportioned to our day. We may be confident for the future only in the strength that is given for the present necessities. The experience in God is daily becoming more precious. . . . Do not borrow anxiety for the future. It is today that we are in need. . . . The Lord is our helper, our God, and our strength in every time of need.

-Our High Calling by E.G. White, Chapt. 119

...

Therefore, "Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)." "And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life," (Hebrews 10:23; 1 John 2:25). 

Faith2

"Keep looking unto Jesus, offering up silent prayers in faith, taking hold of His strength, whether you have any manifest feeling or not. Go right forward as if every prayer offered was lodged in the throne of God and responded to by the One whose promises never fail. Go right along, singing and making melody to God in your hearts, even when depressed by a sense of weight and sadness. I tell you as one who knows, light will come, joy will be ours, and the mists and clouds will be rolled back. And we pass from the oppressive power of the shadow and darkness into the clear sunshine of His presence." —Lt 7, 1892. (Selected Messages 2:242, 243.) – 2MCP 538.1

Does anyone else out there have a clue how hard this is?

For me, it is utter conflict. The war inside me between what I feel and see and what is easiest for me, against what I know and want and what He desires of me, is like a constant roller-coaster. One second I'm resting peacefully in His arms, and the next I'm clawing for a handhold like a drowning cat. The peace and joy I have when surrendered and walking by faith is beyond words, but I find that the line between that peace and joy and self reliance is a fine one. 


This is a poem-y song thing that I wrote with those thoughts in mind... (keep in mind that it is a little dramatic/metaphorical sometimes)

Lord, I can't even think about tomorrow.

My world is too heavy for me.

Didn't You lead me into this valley?

Don't leave me! Please carry my sorrow.

I can't walk any further in my own strength,

But I don't know how to let You pick me up.

No, I don't know how You can pick me up...

I can't let go; I don't know how.

I'm an over-achiever, a straight A student,

I'm a musician and a morning person;

I'm disciplined.

But all the discipline in the world can't grant me joy in the life You've given, 

Can't change me into the person You want me to be, 

Can't make my life worth living.

Haven't I surrendered before?

What are You doing to me?

Why do You make my heart hurt so bad?

Can't You see all the things I've done for You!

And as I turn my head to show You

All around are filthy rags.

Yes, all around are filthy rags...

And that is why my heart hurts,

It's why life's not worth living.

All my plans are out of control

It looks like the devil's winning. 

And all the good my effort has made

Is nothing more than filthy rags,

Yeah, it's nothing more than filthy rags...

But I can't let go; I don't know how.

I'm a gluten-free vegan, an exercise lover,

I'm a Seventh Day Adventist and a canvasser;

I'm disciplined.

But all the discipline in the world can't grant me joy in the life You've given, 

Can't change me into the person You want me to be, 

Can't make my life worth living.

So I'm giving my life to You once more,

I'll take a deep breath and surrender again.

Start at the bottom and work to the top

Search me through, I'm inside out.

I'm looking to You, holding on to Your strength,

And I'm walking by faith not by sight,

Yes, I'll walk by faith not by sight. 

I'm letting go; You hold me now.

You're the Prince of Peace, a Promise-Keeper,

The Son of God. You gave Your life.

I'm surrendered.

Cause only full surrender will grant me joy in the life You've given,

Will change me into the person You want me to be,

Will make my life worth living.

You're living in me.

Faith

This is a link to the blog of a dear friend of mine. I know, without a doubt, that the song she posted today was a message of encouragement meant especially for me from my Lord. My prayer is that it will be an encouragement to you as well.

Faith

Blessings!

-Katie :)

Trip to Ermera

  This last Sunday we went on a trip. The jungle was so beautiful that I decided I would be perfectly happy to live as a full time missionary in a bamboo hut far in the depths of a tropical jungle ...well, maybe. I still don't have anything close to a full idea of what that would actually mean, but I'm getting closer. :) The forest certainly was lovely though. Even Avó said she wanted to buy property in the countryside of Timor, and that's a huge statement coming from her!

The purpose of our trip was to go to a market in the district capital of Ermera. Some of our friends who have gone there have come back with rice sacks full of avocados that they purchased for only 50 cents...so we were hoping to bring back a whole bunch of fresh fruits and veggies.

A little more than halfway to Ermera we came across a little surprise.

There were many cars backed up, so we parked and got out to see what was going on...

We climbed up on these logs to get a better look.

Here's a picture of the Szamko family on the logs. My student, Miguel, is the kid in the blue shirt who is trying to run away from my camera.

The little surprise we had was actually one that we expected: a really muddy road. 

What we weren't expecting was this road block.

This microlet, and several others like it, tried to make it through the mud...

 ...and although you may find this hard to believe, they actually did make it through (with lots of pulling and pushing. The one in this picture was almost carried through)! 

We even drove through the mud and made it all the way to Ermera. 

However, the delay caused by the muddy road and stuck microlets made us late for the market, and all that was left when we got there was bread and garlic. 

(Us at the empty market...you can see a bit of bread in bins in the background)

 We still had fun though, and it was very nice to get out of Dili and see some new places.

(The local cathedral)

See! Just look at William's face! We had loads of fun! ;) 

Pumpkin Pie Parable

One summer a year or two ago, I fell in love with making pies. An old room-mate of mine and I used to make apple pies together lots, but I wasn't hooked until I found a recipe that I could really call my own. A basic but luscious one that I could easily keep in my head and whip up from scratch for just about any fruit. That summer we had loads of nectarines, peaches, apricots, and apples, and I made multiple pies out of all of them. I had so much fun that I ended up making several extra crusts and freezing them so my family could use them while I was away.

Well, when I came to Timor, I didn't leave my pie making hobbie at home. For quite a while I've been just too busy, not to mention that I haven't had a pie pan. However, a couple weeks ago a dear friend of mine gave me an excuse to come over and bring my pie recipe along, and I jumped at the chance. After a long evening of laughing, talking, rolling, and chopping, two perfect apple pies came out of the oven. It was such fun, and the pies turned out so well, that we promptly decided to meet again soon to do it all over again. 

"Soon" happened on last Wednesday night, but this time pumpkin was on the menu. Friday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I kept my eyes peeled for pie pumpkins...but to no avail. The closest thing I could find was a plain-old green squash-y thing that was plain-old pale yellow inside. Certainly that would not work. Yet, as our date got closer, neither of us could find anything better, so eventually we decided we had to make it work. 

The other problem was tofu. Tofu was a problem for several reasons. I was almost afraid to even mention it at the beginning. You see, my dear pie partner is not vegetarian, let alone vegan.The only pumpkin pie recipes I know are vegan and call for silken tofu. I knew that putting tofu in a pie would be a totally foreign idea for my friend, so I was a little hesitant when she asked for my recipe. I gave it as enthusiastically as I could  (it's actually my dad's recipe that he has developed over the past few years and my favorite!), and praise the Lord, she was excited to try it. I guess we sort of thought this would be an experimental pie...experimental pumpkin, experimental tofu, experimental chef (um, I have to admit, I actually can never remember making a pumpkin pie by myself before)...

The other problem with the tofu was where to find it. Usually we have no problem finding silken tofu. In fact, sometimes we only have silken tofu when we want the firm stuff. I've learned though, that part of living in a third world country is dealing with an inconsistent food supply. I've been looking for any tofu besides tofu furak (fresh tofu) for over two weeks now, but the only tofu in all of the markets in Dili is tofu furak, and tofu furak is not for pies. It smells so soy bean-y that it makes me think of rotten egg (don't ask me how extreme soy smell makes me think of rotten egg...it just does). And the texture! Even the texture is like lumpy scrambled eggs. It is not smooth at all. There was no way in the world I was going to use tofu furak to make a pumpkin pie. Until it came down to 10 minutes before I was supposed to start showing my friend how to make the pie, and we still didn't have tofu. I finally broke down. Ok, ok! Fine! Silly Dili food market that only has what I want when I don't need it! 

You're probably thinking, "This is ridiculous! Why doesn't this kid just postpone the pie making day until she can do it right?" Well, you see, these pies weren't just for fun. One of them was for my friend's kids to take to a special meal at school. Not just for their class, mind you, this special meal was for the whole school (only one pie amongst many other foods, but still...I had such terrible visions of all those teachers...all those little children with critical, FBI agent taste buds!). The pie had to be done by Wednesday night so it could be packed off to school on Thursday morning. 

So, I picked up some lumpy, smelly tofu furak on the way to my friend's house, and prayed the whole way. "For the sake of Your health message, Father...for the sake of Your reputation in the eyes of my new friend...for the sake of those poor guinea pigs, I mean, kids...for the sake of our friendship...just for my sake, Lord! Please! Work a miracle and somehow make this mess into a pie!"

I asked Him, and I guess I believed, because I stepped out in faith, but I can't say I wasn't skeptical. When we opened the pumpkins, not only were they not the right kind, but they weren't even totally ripe! As I smelled them when they were cooked and pureed, my heart sank even lower. They certainly didn't smell anything like a pie pumpkin...they smelled like they needed some garlic and olive oil (or maybe I've just been living with the Portuguese too long...). Plus, when I had squeezed all the water out of the tofu, I had half the tofu I had started with, much less than what the recipe called for, and no time to run back and buy more. Not to mention how terrible the pumpkin and tofu looked and smelled when we stirred it together. 

One thing I can tell you for sure, this was the most prayed for pie I have ever made! I was praying for help as I squeezed out the tofu, praying for guidance as I thought about proportions and adjustments to the recipe, and praying for deliverance as I smelled my concoction.

Eventually we added the sweetener and spices, and then things started to smell okay, but I was still uncertain. The test would start when we put the first cup or so into the little hand size food processor. It whizzed and spun and got smoother and creamier and more and more relieving. By the time it was all blended up, it actually looked like pumpkin pie filling! Well...tawny yellow pumpkin pie filling...

Then to taste it. I was so scared that it would taste terrible. We all got out spoons and dipped in, and you know what? It really was alright. It needed a little more cinnamon, but it certainly wasn't bad. We added more cinnamon and tried again. Praise the Lord! I was sure He had worked a miracle.

By the time both pies came out of the oven that night, I had already gone back to my house, so I didn't actually see the finished product. The next day I came by to pick up the smaller pie (we made two: a big one for the school and a little one for my "family" here), and was relieved with the results. It wasn't the rich orange-y brown of a typical pumpkin pie, but it had baked to a pretty, spiced tan. The reports of the other pie were even more lovely though.

There were no left overs! No one even guessed that it was made with tofu!

I was so happy. God made my tofu furak and gourds into a pie, in the same way that He turned water into wine. I knew that I was completely incapable of sharing Him through my own haphazard efforts, so He Himself opened a door for His message of health and shone His love and joy into my life.

 The Christian life is a battle and a march. It is to work for today and not for tomorrow. It is to do the duties of today; it is, when you rise in the morning, to think, now I am wholly dependent upon God, and I will ask him to take care of me; and when I ask him to take care of me today, I believe that he will do so. I will lay my burden of care, and my troubles at the feet of Jesus, and he will gather them up. You must trust in his love; and if he has given you a small work, take that up, and do it today; and if you have been faithful in doing that little work today, tomorrow you will be capable of bearing a greater responsibility, and of doing a greater work; and he will give you a greater work and responsibility to bear on the morrow.  {ST, January 31, 1878 par. 6}

Then it was making pies, today it was teaching women to crochet; everyday has it's share of trials in the classroom, and I know I'll never guess what tomorrow will hold, but through the work He gives me today, I will depend on Him to care for me and to be my constant help. He has given me work, and I will trust in His love, no matter the task. Will you trust Him and labor in His cause?