Chaff...

Some dear friends of mine sent me a lovely set of books last week. They're from the 17:18 series. It's a series of books that are meant to help people fulfill the command in Deuteronomy 17:18 about writing out your own copy of the law of God. I was given the books needed to write out and comment on the whole book of Psalms, and they've been such a blessing. The thoughts below came from studying Psalm 1. Oh, and just in case you wonder, this isn't written from my perspective...

Rough. Hard. Empty. Worthless…

I used to be full of potential, full of life. Inside my heart was a new beginning, a promise of growth. It grew inside me until I was practically pregnant with promise and possibilities. My papery mask was golden and ready to split. Everything was perfect and ready for harvest.

Then the hard times came.

It was a hot, dusty day when sharp blades came and cut my stalk. I fell and was piled with many others just like me. We were roughly carried away from familiar soil to a place we’d never seen or heard about. Lost and confused, we were beaten and tossed, broken down and battered. It seemed that my heart would be torn out of me, my papery mask that had been so smooth and golden was splitting.

No!

“You can’t do this to me! You can’t take that away from me! My mask is who I am!”

I struggled to be heard, but the sweaty farmer who bent over me wouldn’t stop the shaking. I gritted my teeth and held on tight. I wouldn’t give up! I couldn’t surrender!

Then his warm hand picked me up and he rubbed me around in His palm. This was the end.  I couldn’t hold on anymore. It was either my husk or the seed. I couldn’t keep both, and I couldn’t bear to be separated from my mask, my covering, the only part of me that had ever seen the light of day, the part of me that I thought made me who I was.

And in that choice, I lost the seed. I lost the life that was in my heart. I lost my heart and became a shell, a simple lifeless husk.

The wind carried away my body, and in the hands of the One who planted me lay the life that He had given and that I had given up.

I gave it up for a husk.

The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

-Psalm 1:4

A Pick-Me-Up From God

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning: the homesick side. It's happened several times since I left North America, but today, I didn't even want to get out of bed. I tried to talk to some family and friends before breakfast, but the internet was slow, and then when I finally did get a hold of them, it was time for me to go.

As Miguel and I started school with prayer, I asked the Lord to take away my bad attitude and help me deal with my homesickness (Yeah, I know, prayer again. It's about all I've posted about lately, but it really is amazing!). After prayer I felt much better, but I still just wanted to go home. Then God worked one of His little miracles.

Before we had even finished Bible class we heard a knock. Mana Lina (the lady who helps us with cooking and cleaning) called me downstairs, and there at the door was the delivery man from DHL. A package! For me!

Inside the package were pictures, little notes from my family, a pair of incredible books for studying Psalms, Adventist Review and AFM magazines, some GF snacks, and other little things that I had been wishing for. It was the most lovely surprise, and it came right on time.

My Father in heaven is so caring! With Him by my side, I couldn't be happier or more content. I love Him so much, because He has first shown His love to me (1 John 4:19).

Now, replacing my bad mood and homesickness, there is a song. It goes something like this:

I will lift my eyes

To the hills and their Creator

Who made all heaven and earth

For He watches me

Never sleeps, no, never slumbers,

He's ever over me.

As I come and I go,

I am safe for I know,

That His care is sufficient for me.

Winter warmth and light,

And a shady place in summer,

He's ever over me.

A Poem

I wrote this while studying the adult Sabbath school quarterly this week and wanted to share it.

I'll take a stand so I can lay
My all at Jesus' feet today.
Giving up and surrendering to Him
Is the only way to stand up to sin.

Submit yourselves therefore to God,
Follow meekly His staff and rod,
Resist the Devil and he will flee
While surrendered we'll gain the victory.

"May Christ be lifted up!" we'll cry
Til the eye of every passerby-
's been drawn to the snake upon the rod,
The sinless, spotless lamb of God.

Who for my sake sin became,
That I may live by Jesus name.

Little Things

"God answered my prayer!"

Miguel's shout tore my attention away from the book I was reading. The other people at the pool glanced up from their recliners and waitresses paused with Cokes and mango juices balanced expertly in the air, but Miguel didn't notice. 

"Katie! Katie," he screamed at the top of his lungs while he flailed through the water toward me, "He answered my, I mean, our prayer!"

"Which prayer, Miguel?"

"Remember! See, here's your hair tie that I lost."

"Oh, yes, I remember now. The last time we were here you lost my hair tie, and we prayed that we would find it, but even though we looked for it until we left, we didn't find it."

"How many days has it been since we were here last?"

"It's been three days, Miguel."

"Wow! That's amazing! It would have been amazing if God had helped us find your hair tie right after I lost it, but now to find it three days later...oh, my! That's amazing!"

"God is so good! He even cares about little things like hair ties. Why don't we pray to thank Him? Would you like to pray, or should I pray?"

"You can pray."

And I did pray. Not only to thank our Father for revealing my hair tie, but also to thank Him for revealing a bit of Himself to a little ten year old boy and his teacher. 

The Power of Prayer

Talking with my Dad has always been special to me. I can remember many specific discussions that we’ve had over the years while driving, hiking, or studying the Bible. Our personalities are so similar and we think so much alike that we often communicate with few or no words at all. Sometimes the most meaningful things are said without words. If unsure or afraid, I gain a world of courage by simply tucking my arm into his. A smile or nod could send me to the moon and back, and the pain in his rebuking eyes cuts deep. He’s the only person in the world who has successfully and consistently cured me of hiccups with a simple hug.

And yet, the beauty of our relationship fades in comparison with the love and care that my heavenly Father has shown to me. With open arms He has adopted me, and with divine love He cares for me.

When I have no words to express what I’m experiencing, I pour my heart to my Father in humble surrender. As struggles spill out before Him, He tenderly takes up my burdens and carries them on His own back. Patiently He points out my mistakes and offers me a new heart and a new start. He’s always listening and never too busy to help. No matter where I go, He’s always right by my side and He’s constantly caring for me. Just today, He showed His love to me in a beautiful way.

Ruth left for Austria and Portugal today (she has to visit some family and do a continuing education course). It was hard for us to see her go, and I know it was extremely hard for her to leave too; especially because of Miguel. The way he clung to her and sobbed into her chest broke my heart, and I’m not his mom. I could see agony written across her face as the driver took her to the airport. Paulo stayed calm and encouraging, saying that the time would go fast and soon Ruth would be back, but by the time Ruth had left and it was time for Paulo to go back to work, Miguel was still crying. How in the world was I supposed to get a little boy who’s crying for his mom to finish the school day? I almost gave up right there. Thankfully the Lord was with me.

Miguel had calmed down a little by the time we got up to the school room, but once he had flopped down on the reading pillow for a story that I had to read to him, the dam broke loose again. I know it was the Lord who spoke through me: “Miguel, would you like to pray with me?” He eagerly accepted, and as I began to pray, the change that took place before my eyes was beautiful. The little heaving chest breathed deep and even. The heart-wrenching sobs were quieted, and the quivering lip and wrinkled brow relaxed. I could literally see the peace settle on his face as God’s peace filled his heart. Now I was crying.

That was the end of the battle (for today). From then on, although Miguel often expressed how much he missed his mother throughout the afternoon and evening, it wasn’t with the same hopelessness and grief.  Jesus was carrying his burden, and the peace of Jesus reigned in his heart. Miguel now looked forward to emailing his mom and boasted about how he would talk her ear off once he got her on the phone.

The power of one prayer in easing the life of a little child amazed me today. God’s love for us is so great, and His desire to give us what is good so strong. All we need to do is ask.

More Aquatic Life

Here are a few more species that I was able to identify for my "fish list."

linckia laevigata - reef and lagoon starfish
plate-like, staghorn, and table Acropora corals
fungia horrida - mushroom corals (including a neon orange one)
plerogyra sinuosa - grape coral
spirobranchus giganteus - Christmas-tree worm (the bright blue-ish purple ones are my favorite, but the others are lovely too. Red, yellow, white, orange, etc. These are one of my favorite little things. If you wiggle your finger at them they disappear into the coral and then slowly creep out again.)
ascidians - seasquirts (I think this is what I saw. It has the closest description that I can find)

A Thought From My Readings

I'm leading out in the adult Sabbath school this week, and as I was reading some things on the topic of salvation, I came across this paragraph. I think it speaks for itself.

I have felt to urge upon all the necessity of searching the Scriptures for themselves that they may know what is truth, and may discern more clearly the compassion and love of God. Yet there is need of carefulness and earnest prayer in the study of the Bible, that none may fall into error by a misconception of its teachings. There is one great central truth to be kept ever before the mind in the searching of the Scriptures: --Christ and Him crucified. Every other truth is invested with influence and power corresponding to its relation to this theme. It is only in the light of the cross that we can discern the exalted character of the law of God. The soul palsied by sin can be endowed with life only through the work wrought out upon the cross by the Author of our salvation. The love of Christ constrains man to unite with Him in His labors and sacrifice. The revelation of divine love awakens in them a sense of their neglected obligation to be light-bearers to the world, and inspires them with a missionary spirit. This truth enlightens the mind and sanctifies the soul. It will banish unbelief and inspire faith. It is the one great truth to be constantly kept before the minds of men. Yet how dimly is the love of God understood; and in the teaching of the word it makes but a faint impression.  {1888 806.1}